tylerupshall

I'm back in Bristol, and my week long adventure of taking two preschoolers to Florida has come to an end. All I can say is...I wish I'd had the foresight to drag someone else along with me. Don't get me wrong, it was fun, but a 3-year-old and a 4-year-old little girls are quite a handful. But, both of them had fun and that's what is important. They got to go to the beach and they got to see Shamu...and they got to cost Uncle Tyler a LOT of money. Both of them came home with a new t-shirt, a stuffed dolphin, a stuffed Shamu, new coloring books, towels, and hats. Not to mention all of the food, the fish to feed the animals, drinks...I never knew having kids could be so EXPENSIVE!

I'll be heading back to North Carolina, soon. Just in time to be on base for two weeks. It feels like the summer is flying by and before we know it school will be starting again. I'm, honestly, not too sure how I feel about that. When summer first started, I thought that I would be looking forward to its end...that it wouldn't go by fast enough so that classes could start again, and things could go back to how they were. Now, however, I don't have as much to look forward to with the fall.

On the plus side, however, it will be getting me that much closer to finishing school. And the sooner I can graduate and get out of this place, the better. I think next year I will be taking summer classes...in an attempt to make this process go by faster. I'm ready to go back to full active duty, with the hopes of being reassigned and...if I'm lucky...redeployed.

For now, however, I do want to finish my degree and get through nursing school.

I think I've been in Bristol almost as much as I've been in Chapel Hill this summer. Which...makes it difficult to get anything accomplished. But, this is the firt time in a long time I've been mostly free to come and go as I please. To be able to just pick up and go back home to see my family anytime the mood strikes me. With a new baby in the family, it's hard not to want to come back. Plus, my little princess is here. I don't know what it is about Maddie, but I love that little girl to death. The problem is...I've been focusing so much on my family, I haven't said two words to anyone else all summer. Then again, they haven't said two words to me, either.

I've got my vacation with my Maddie coming up this next week. She wanted to go to SeaWorld and so Uncle Tyler promised that he would take her. Ever since I got here on Sunday, it's all she's talked about. What we're going to do, what we're going to see. My sister took her online and she got to see little previews of some of the shows so she's even more excited than she was, before. Especially when I told her that I'm going to take her to the beach one day. She loves swimming and being in the water, so she's excited about getting to go in the ocean.

To top it all off, somewhere along the line I also gained an extra body for this trip. It's not going to be just Uncle Tyler and Maddie. Oh, no, it's going to be Uncle Tyler, Maddie, and Mattea. I don't know if I'm going to be able survive this. Someone. Please. Pray for me.

I've got a blank screen sitting in front of me, the knowledge that I need to fill it up with words, and no clue of what I want to say. My life has been...fairly uneventful, lately. I've been spending most of my time getting my house fixed up and the way I want it. Being a home owner definitely has it's challenges, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's nice to have a place that I can call my own. I thought about hosting a 4th of July party for anyone who was still in town, but...I'm going to be out of town myself that day. I'm taking my niece to SeaWorld that week. I tried canceling because, quite frankly, I just don't feel like going anymore. But...my sister threatened my life, so now I'm stuck.

The main highlight of my summer so far has been seeing my new niece. She's gorgeous, of course, but I figured she would be. Both of my nieces look just like their mother. I don't think I put her down the entire time I was home. I don't know what it is about my sister's kids, but they get their uncle Tyler wrapped around their little fingers and I'm just hooked. Becky likes to joke that when I'm a father she is seeking her revenge by spoiling my kids the way I spoil hers. I tell her not to hold her breath on me having kids anytime in the near future.

That's all I have to say, really. I need to get out. Do more. Anyone in the area, still? I've got plenty of time and need something to do.

After my sister tucked my oldest niece in for the night, she came into the room I'm staying in and started slapping the shit out of me. She told me that my niece had been crying when she put her to bed and asked why her Uncle Tyler wasn't happy to see her and if I didn't love her anymore. That...absolutely floored me, and I had no clue how to respond to that or why she would even think it. That little girl has been Uncle Tyler's princess from the day I first laid eyes on her. Just having her in my life has gotten me through some tough times...after all, there is a lot to be said for having pudgy little arms wrap around your neck and hearing a little voice say "I wub you Unca Tywer." When I say that my niece is a life saver...I truly and literally mean it. So, I couldn't imagine why she would suddenly think that I didn't love her anymore. After Becky got done physically assulting me, she laid into me and told me it was no wonder that little girl was in tears. She said I've been moody and cranky ever since I got off the plane and that I hardly paid her any attention, other than to carry her out to the car and then into the house.

The worst part about it? Becky was right. I've been allowing the problems in my personal life get the better of me. Things are...not good, and I let myself get sucked in to that. It's a problem I tend to have. When things are going wrong, I get a little angry and lash out at people. It's a defense/coping mechanism, I guess. Maybe not the best way to deal with shit, but...who's perfect? Everyone has that one thing that is a negative about them, and this is mine.

I'm hoping that things will start to look up and get better, soon. I'm not sure of how, but...there's got to be a way. Yes, it looks bad right now. But, I'm not one to give up easily and I'm not quite ready to give up on this, just yet.

However...the first thing I need to do, is make things right with Maddie. After Becky was done chewing me out I went to check on her. She wasn't asleep, yet, so I laid down with her for a little while. We made plans for tomorrow...all picked out by her. We're going to the playground after breakfast, then we're having McDonald's for lunch, followed by a trip to the movies to see Rio, and dinner at Chuck E. Cheese. First thing tomorrow, we're calling my sister's best friend to see if her daughter, Mattea, can go with us. She's Maddie's best friend and she wants her friend to come along with us. Who am I to say no? It's going to be a long day, I'm sure...but it's worth it to get my niece to smile and laugh. And to know that her Uncle Tyler loves her.

Date for the ball lined up. Dancing and ettiquette lessons have been taken. Just gotta work on getting my outfit picked up...I will NOT wear some rented, used, stuffy, and uncomfortable tux that probably wouldn't fit anyway. No way, not gonna happen.